Tonight as I was searching for my criminal procedure cases, a question runs through my mind if I should continue law school or not. I tried to contemplate.
While doing this, I browse through my facebook. I saw some pictures of my college and high school classmates. I spotted smiles, beautiful places and successful people. Some of them are traveling abroad twice or thrice a year and traveling within the Philippines as often as they can. Some are already working abroad and are on the climax of their career. I can even conclude that everyday for them is a celebration of success. I felt a little bit insecure so I close my facebook and was trying to focus on my own venture. I went back searching for the cases that I need to complete. But it’s hard to focus and was asking again my self if I should really continue law school or grab a possible good career opportunity.
I am a working law school student and I do not enroll full load units every semester. I have a career; I can still travel in domestic area more than thrice a year but seldom with international flight. I am trying to balance my career, my school and my personal life. But there are times that I feel like breaking down into pieces. When people would ask me how I balance my career and my law school. I feel like “WOW” it’s really a hard question to answer.
I sacrifice so many things because of this path that I take. I decided to leave the possible chance of a good career. I cancelled so many trips and I missed so many fun nights with friends. I hardly had a time to take a date, to join a club and to even reward my self of an 8 hours sleep.
Law school is a battle. You need to be prepared physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. There are even times that you loose your self-respect especially when you cannot answer for an oral recitation. While during the time that you are almost out of energy, you feel so emotionally unstable and you cannot help but cry, get angry and scream for unexplained feelings. I thought these experiences are so weird but when I shared this to my law colleagues, I felt composed as they confessed that they are also experiencing such unbalanced emotion.
So I ask my self again? Should I fight back or get out of the battle? I tried to ask my self so many times and until now I cannot find any answer. Maybe I just have to go with the flow now and do the best that I can. I hope someday things will fall into pieces.